nonsense

my evening thus far

2009-10-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

hello! Haven't blogged in awhile now so i thought for this blog I'll just blog about the latter part of my day after I got home from work...

I got back from work and sat at the kitchen table with mom and stuffed my face with a new flavour of potato chips and talked. For work, we sometimes teach the kids to group things according to groups like categories or what they're used for (their function) and this new kid I've just started working with doesn't have alot of pictures to go with some of the functions like cutting, cleaning, sitting etc. and we had a huge stack of junk mail shop catalogues that come almost every week for the different shopping places ( I can't remember if we had stuff like that in Singapore...) so I sat down for the next hour or so with my scissors and going through at least 5 or 6 catalogues for pictures.
Then I went to go email my case manager (the person who's my supervisor for that kid, different supervisor for different kids). Since I was online I checked the new photos I was tagged in on facebook from a friend's birthday yesterday and hung around the world wide web for awhile. Then realised I was incredibly hungry, no wonder, it was 9pm plus. So I went and helped myself to a huge dinner (one of these days I'm going to upload what my serving for meals looks like compared to my brother's ); cleaned and washed up after that. The rule in our house is the last person who eats has to clean up - pack away the food in the fridge, wash up etc.
Then I found more catalogues... So up till 5 minutes ago I was chopping up catalogues for pictures of dishwashing powder, toilet rolls while listening/watching paramore on youtube.

Everything's quiet in the house. Ever since I started my tv fast for 3 weeks with church for our 21 days prayer & fasting I've been more productive and everyone seems to be going to bed earlier, myself included which is a good thing!

Uni tomorrow, then work with the new kid and my new materials(!), then lifegroup :)

the long weighty discourse

2009-07-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

for what could possibly be almost a month now i'd been sick. like ridiculously sick. First i was trying to recover from my wisdom teeth surgery then i caught an awful bug ... coughing and nausea then as i was starting to recover from that I got hit with another bug. Relentless. It took my dim mind a while to work out that I was probably picking up the bugs from the kids I work with. Since the next time I went in to work their coughs sounded very familiar, of course they weren't as sick and weak as I had been. evil disease carrying children who still look disarmingly cute.

As a result of my weakened state on one of the days I passed out and so of course my very dramatic mother decided to take me to my GP (who also happens to be my uncle). My equally concerned uncle told me to take a blood test.

So results of seeing my uncle and the blood tests:
I have a healthy liver and kidneys, my vitamin levels are good (hah! take that mom & stop trying to force them down my throat) but I have very low iron, something 2 of my other girl cousins had so that was almost expected and get this !
I'm underweight. I was shocked. I've been 53 kg ever since secondary school sometimes 54kg. And (I should tell you that I'm not too pleased about this) I'm 166cm. For the last few years I've been happily telling people that I'm 167 maybe 169. It was lies all lies. I'm 166 cm :(
But I guess I'm missing the main point here. I'm underweight. My uncle said my bmi was low enough to try for top-notch modelling (my seriously deluded uncle) but I did tell him that modelling was never one of my life's ambitions. At least my mom thought it was funny.
And then fully taking advantage of the fact that he was my uncle as well as my doctor, he says, "Nyshamol, you HAVE to eat more. Make sure you eat more red meat. Your iron is very low!"
Then came the dreaded question, "What do you have for breakfast?"
"Umm...milo?" and my cruel cruel mother smirked in the corner. Then comes the almighty "that's all ?!! " and then the spiel about breakfast being the most important meal of the day etc.
But because I'm actually annoyed with myself for being underweight I've been studiously having proper various combinations of cereal, toast, milo & juice for breakfast followed by my poo-blackening iron tablets (ok maybe you didn't need so much detail).
And I've been eating more. A few days ago I had 2 dinners. An early dinner before I went out then when I got back I felt hungry again so I had a second dinner.Twice. And yesterday I had 2 krispy kreme donuts. It may not be the most healthy but hey it should help with putting on weight.
I hope I'm doing the right thing (well I realise the donuts were pushing it) but I thought I was listening to my body before and not overeating and that I was a healthy weight but as it turned out I was underweight. I help out at church with younger girls and so many of them are struggling with weight issues, some already have eating disorders and they're only 12 and 13 ! It breaks my heart. So to hear that I was underweight, I wasn't going to just let that slide. And the fact that the combination of being underweight and iron deficiency was the reason I had fallen sick so badly I was going to do all that I could to never fall that sick or feel that weak again.

But here's the confusing part. I don't tell everybody (though the fact that I'm blogging about it might mean otherwise) that I'm underweight and iron deficient just a handful of people. I don't mind telling people it's just a random topic of conversation. It only comes up when people ask about my health post-being sick. One older lady said she wasn't surprised that I was underweight and that she could've told me that; another older lady said that she didn't think I was underweight she said I look healthy! And that's what I've always thought.
My cousin in Singapore when I mentioned it to him said that the WHO recently said that there should be different bmis for asians. So he asked if i wanted him to check with his dad (he's a doctor as well) if I was underweight. I didn't want the my 2 uncles arguing over my bmi so I let it pass. But seeing how i'm fully embracing the eat-more and stuff my face more than my brothers is going I should probably make sure it's not all in vain. Now that would be annoying.

I must say thought if you're still reading all this you must be an amazingly patient friend who is genuinely interested in my well-being. Thank you!

So I'll go investigate my underweightedness further and in the mean time enjoy the excuse to overeat! Hurrah!

post wisdom teeth extraction photos

2009-07-06T08:04:00.000-07:00

the first one was probably taken 3 days afer my surgery and believe it or not it actually got more swollen than that before it started going down. The second one was taken yesterday- there's still a bit of numbness in the front of my lower jaw (because of bruised nerves) but otherwise I'm eating normally again ! :B

my lower lip is still larger than it should be. darn anaesthisia and bruised nerves.

2009-06-22T04:25:00.001-07:00

so just a mini post (which probably means it will end up huge) to test out the whole emaill thingy.

i have realised again today that i have mood swings. Like today i was so annoyed. I was going through my to-do list and quite pleased that i was ticking alot of things off. then mom needed me to help with some vacuuming and cooking. Completely legitimate. but it took me away from my to-do list. Earth-shattering.

so i try to be nice about it but i still end up being very crabby, short-tempered and had the scrunched up face of a rat. And of course the main victim of my moodiness - mom. Not nice at all. Especially since she's incredibly stressed out, trying to clean out stuff while looking for important misplaced documents.

Bad, bad, bad. So as I was grumpily chopping up cucumbers and carrots I thought about my mood and it seemed so dense so thick like I couldn't just get out of it. Not good. And my grandmother was in the kitchen too ( may not have yet mentioned that my grandmother's here with us in perth too. that's another story for another blogpost)

the thing about me and my moods is that unfortunately when I'm in a bad mood, everyone realises. Even if i'm completely silent. It's like this aura I project. If I'm in a bad mood everyone walks around on eggshells. Can make a person feel very powerful. BUT it's not right. I love my family and yes my mom has this amazing talent of sending me to new levels of annoyance when I'm already in a bad mood but that doesn't change the fact she's my mom.

- interlude from ranting because said mother just walked in-

feeling much better. apparently she was somewhat unaware of my bad mood. ego has been deflated. she's so ridiculously happy go lucky i guess that's why i often go into mother hen on overdrive. mental note to self: next time in bad mood, the strategy of -keeping very quiet and trying to be civil untill i can get away and get my head screwed back on right- seems to work.

mental note to self #2: check calendar.may be that time of the month. i love being female.

Access Yahoo!7 Mail on your mobile. Anytime. Anywhere. Show me how.

June

2009-06-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

It's june and i'm sitting in my room feeling a bit sorry for myself.
I got my wisdom teeth removed on tuesday afternoon; I was actually really nervous before the surgery. The whole I'm unconscious thing while people are cutting up my gums and digging around for my teeth. Honestly though I had a good surgeon he was really friendly before and reassuring and I'm recovering well. Apparently when you've been under General Anaesthesia you wake up either laughing or crying. My cousin Michelle woke up laughing, I of course woke up in tears. But because I knew what to expect I didn't get too emotional, instead I was shivering more. I get cold easily and I'm guessing it was really cold when they were doing the operation and I suppose I can't shiver when I'm under GA so I woke up with the shakes. The nurses were good though. One ran off and got me a thicker blanket.
My mom had dropped me off at the clinic and came back with my brother and I'm glad she did because she gets nervous around blood (she's been known to faint) and the first thing my brother does when he sees me is take a photo (if i get hold of it I'll upload it.) It was nice having him around, he made me laugh but at the same time was very attentive making sure I was ok. Mom in the meantime was sitting a bit further away and telling my brother not to make me laugh and to let me rest.

Today's Friday, about 3 days later and my face is still massive. I don't know where my jawline is anymore and the nurse I spoke to on the phone said it's normal for my face to swell up more before it gets better. I'm taking an antibiotic, 2 types of pain killers and rinsing my mouth alot with saltwater and basically doing nothing else except trying to make my family feel sorry for me and do stuff for me ! (not working very well. unsympathetic savages...) I'm still eating liquid-ish stuff but my lower jaw is starting to feel a bit better so hopefully I'll soon be able to eat more solid food.

My main worry atm is the commitments I'd said yes to before thinking that I would've recovered by now. Tonight I'm supposed to start traning to help out with the multimedia at revo (church young adults), tomorrow I'm helping out with a kid's programme all afternoon and Sunday I have training for work! I think I'm fine to go to all of these as long as I keep talking to a minimum and I take my pain killers with me in case I need them. I've been really good with my pain killers I don't take them as often as I'm supposed to, I'm glad that the pain isn't that bad.

I shall stop here for now. Might update later :)

Jeremiah 29:11

2009-04-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

Ok so it's time for a new post that's loong overdue!
First things first in the last hour I joined twitter! I hope I don't end up seriously regretting this. I really don't need more social networking systems to occupy my time when I really have other things I should be doing! But yes everybody join twitter to keep my company :) my username is nysha_86 not that hard huh ?

Ok onto jobs :) I've got one!! Well I'm still in observation / training phase but pish that's just small details. I'm working witha company called ISADD (Intervention Services for Autism and Developmental Delays) basically I'll be working as a behavioural therapist with kids with autism and developmental delays. I've only just observed my first session on Wednesday and I've got 2 more lined up next week - one on Monday morning and another on Tues.
So there are 2 training workshops and an orientation session before I'm meant to start working and getting paid. Before that all the other times that I'm going will be for observation only. After I've been trained there will be a senior therapist who will be helping me as I start of with a new client (child) for 4 - 6 sessions. So I'm really looking forward to this as it's what I've been hoping to do the last couple of months in terms of jobs. And it's so great that I've got a job now despite the doom and gloom going around about the economic times. Not to be insensitive though so if anyone is looking for a job hang in there- just be positive cause once you lose hope you lose everything! (easier said than done)

My cousin, Georgina, is coming to Perth for 3 weeks in May and I'm really looking forward to that!I guess that's about it for now. I'll try to keep updating as life and work progresses :)

Stay healthy and happy !!! <3

for you i'll wait till kingdom come untill my days are done

2009-02-23T08:27:00.000-08:00

and finally an update .... :)

where do i start? i guess with the biggest thing in my head and heart right now.

On Sunday I found out that a friend died in a car crash. We weren't the closest of friends but we were friends and she's probably only a year or two younger than me. I'm still a little bit in a state of shock. I'm generally ok but then suddenly I'll remember and then the queasy feelings start. I guess I'm closer to her brother and I don't even think I could begin to understand what's going through his head right now. Logging onto facebook is hard. People left messages on Sarah's wall even though she's never going to read it. It's cathartic I guess for people but it cuts me up when I read messages from close friends on her wall. It hurts and I'm scared. I thought I learnt from a young age that you could lose the people you care about suddenly, but this just brought everything crashing home for me. I just prayed and kept saying over and over that I'm not ready to go yet, I wasn't finished and that most of all that my loved ones be kept safe. If I lost my mother or my brothers there would be no facade in all the world that would be able to hide the mess.

Onto less morbid things....

I'm sorry Suf that it took me so long to update. And I was reading the posts on your wall and it warmed my heart :) thank you for promising to be at my wedding wherever it is (whoever it is with - because in case you forgot i'm single too!) and yes when you come to Perth with your passport I'll take you to Rottnest Island and I'll drive you and Yun around! I'm a very safe driver you know!

I'm still looking for a job or something really to occupy my time. I feel like I have way too much free time on my hands and yet at the same time I'm busy. So if there's any progress on that front i'll metion it here.

This Friday is the Coldplay concert in Perth and I'm so excited. I love their music. and I've loved all the live videos of them performing on youtube. I recently discovered the song 'What If' from their X & Y album although I'm guessing that they'll mostly be playing stuff from their viva la vida album and prospekt's march ep (which is amazing). Also The Fray are playing here on the 17 march and I will shamelessly admit I absolutely love them too. I havent got tickets to the concert but I really wanna go.

Friends are so important and even though I don't always get to keep in touch with all of them knowing that they're there for me makes all the difference in the world. Being back in Singapore last month did that for me. To know that the friends I really care about still care and look out for me means the world. And here too, I've got amazing friends and I have alot of support. I managed to celebrate my birthday the way I really wanted to. I headed down to Cottesloe beach with three other girlfriends. We had very greasy fish & chips that were yum and then a dunk in the water before they 'surprised' me with a birthday cake. (It's not that easy to hide a birthday cake)

Chloe one of my friends left for Sydney this morning with her boyfriend. They're driving across Australia from Perth to Sydney and they'll get there next Tuesday. I've known Chloe from high school here and I adore her. I'll miss her alot and I can't help but remember and be greateul for the friends I've been blessed with. That plus the fact I'll figure out skype so I can keep in touch with Chloe (and Gasp! maybe even my amazing friends in Singapore....and in the Phillipines....)

I think Iara's already on standby if I get too depressed this week and it helps that she lives like 2 blocks away from me. But anyway I thought I'd share the photos taken from my birthday! Sorry they're so small. I thought they'd turn out bigger. Oh well. Go get your magnifying glasses it's 3am and I need sleep!

so you sailed away into a grey sky morning

2009-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

New year, new skin i figured. let's just ignore the fact that it's already 11 days into the new year. At least it's still January :)

I know i haven't updated in awhile and i still keep my blog going because it's the best way to keep in touch with alot of you and the best way for me to know how you're all doing. So on that note: sorry I havent been updating my blog/ reading your posts as often as i should.

New year's resolutions #1 : update & read blogs more often!

this year is already not going quite as I planned but it's all good. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to explain this properly but I'm not discouraged, I know God's taking care of me (even though I do tend to stuff up royally on occasion) and I'm actually kinda looking forward to this year.

2009 looks nothing like I planned or wanted. And that would normally freak me out and if I'm being totally honest it sometimes still does because I am a planner and I like follow through despite my procrastinating tendencies.

Ok enough beating around the bush for now. I think i know what Suf says about writing about sensitive stuff on blogs. it's not that you want to air it for the world to see it but I just have this compulsive urge to archive whatever's going on in my life right now, sensitive or not, so that I remember how I felt and what was going through my head and yea, stuff.

So..
Briefly what this year is gonna look like for me:
- i have one blasted unit to do still this semester before I can officially graduate.
- besides that I plan to work the whole year. I've dropped my CV off at one place but I'll have to chase it up when I get back to Perth. And possibly apply at more places. I need to get my foot in the door and just try and get some experience in.
- doing Joshua Generation for 6 mths at church where a group of selected people meet up with our senior pastor of my church every week where we go indepth into the stuff in the Bible which I'm actually really looking forward to. I know I make it sound like a super exclusive thing (it is mua haha) but it's really just to keep the group small so that it's meaningful and ps david gets to know us. I'll prob blab more coherently about it after it starts in feb.

I think that's it for now. I just figured I really should put in a post, it's really long overdue but sometimes when you put off something like emailing someone, making a post etc. too much has happened that you don't really have anything to say cause it's all already been and gone and there's new stuff.

i'll try and stick to the new year's resolution above but in the mean time here's hoping i catch up with everyone ( except lystra boo!) before i go back after chinese new year.

PS: sorry if this post has been confusing my head has been all over the place!

post-thesis. (if you love me won't you let me know)

2008-11-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

an update!
So i managed to hand in my thesis 2 weeks ago and in the same week I had to hand in 2 more assignments - which was a complete nightmare. After handing in my thesis i didn't feel like doing anything academic or pushing myself. nonetheless the assignments got handed in
(albeit a day late. better a day late and better work than never at all i say. plus it seems like the way i cope somehow. I don't think i quite get it either)

The week after ( which was this week) I completely took the week off to rest and recuperate before study week & i start preparing for the end of year exams.
no rest for the wicked they say.
But having finished the 'rest and recuperate' week I don't feel anymore relaxed or calm. I even had a dream last night about an exam. Not good for the mental health this fourth year stuff!
The anxious feeling in my chest probably only got worse when I got back one of the assignments I mentioned earlier. Bad. BAD. I've got a childish hope that the other assignment was brilliant. I seem to do better in that unit. but i'm still feeling a bit sick. and now instead of sleeping, I'm going to read that horrible assignment and see if there was anything I need to bring up with my tutor. Perfect reading for just before sleep time.

And today (because it's already 1am) I have to start sorting through my notes & readings & lectures and start studying for my exams - which I have to do really really well in. Poo.

The only productive thing I did today was to clear out my cupboard of redundant clothes (so i can make space for more shopping later) which is helpful in a way cos now if i choose to not be a hermit during study break i won't have to worry about findng clothes. I know that sounds like crap logic but i promise it would make more sense if you've been to my room!

gah allright i'm tired. will try to update more & seeing how i'm back on facebook now more than once a day it seems like my old procrastinating habits have returned so i might be posting more often too ! :)

life as it is right now

2008-09-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

Like a super super quick update ...
life at the moment is so super busy because of uni

next week i've got two assignments due and i've barely touched them and in 2 weeks i need to hand in the draft of my thesis that still remains unwritten.

can anyone say screwed?

but i'll make it somehow. but yea the social life and stuff is taking backseat to church & uni atm.... but if you havent heard from me in awhile now you know why.

will hopefully be blogging in 2 weeks about how it's all over for now before it starts all over again in October.

joy.

music emanates

2008-08-12T09:35:00.000-07:00

night time is interesting at home.
it's when everyone retreats to their room and different types of music stream out from our rooms.
My youngest brother's normally the first to go to bed and the first to wake after mom.
He and mom go to sleep with cds playing loudly. My room's right next to his so sometimes i sneak in and lower the volume. And because he's still my baby brother who happens to be taller, i check to make sure he's comfortable and he's not too hot or cold.
My other brother normally practices on his guitar in his room if he's not on the net blasting music through headphones and i'm normally in my room attempting to study with the radio on. We've all of us got different music playing but there is music in all 4 bedrooms while all the rest of the world is silent. we're family like that.

be my mirror, my soul, my shield

2008-08-05T03:21:00.000-07:00

Found 2 music videos for Viva la Vida. I liked the one below that was directed by Hype Williams; most i thought it really showed off the song in all it's glory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4EtvqJ65zM

but there's another video that's on the cold play website which i thought was great.( http://www.coldplay.com/vivavideo2.php )
Chris Martin looks adorable in his crown & massive royal robe. The end of the video warms the heart (or at least it did mine).It makes u wanna grab his face and take him home. But he's really tall and not small so that might be hard but he's so cute in his golden curls and blue blue eyes. ( stupidgwynethpaltrow)

anyway. the comment that went with this video was: made out of love for Depeche Mode and the genius of Anton Corbijin.

The first time i heard/saw Viva la vida was on the Apple ad and i was in love straight away. Viva la vida and Lost! have got to be my favourites and Life in Technicolor and Lovers in Japan(it's my morning alarm) and Strawberry Swing and...i think it'd be fair to say i love the whole album!
I love the many different strings, the strong base and drum beats throughout the album.

Just looked over the post. Should stop now.

On a dift note: second day of semester 2. Today i took the new train system to uwa. I thought it was exciting and because it's brand new (start of this year) everything looks bright and colourful and modern. Uni so far's calm but i have a thesis to hand in at the end of October and a draft copy to be handed in September. Thinking about it gives me goosebumps. There are alot of words that need to be in that thesis and the wordcount is currently at zero. Dungbeetles.
Now that i've been wildly shaken back to reality i think i shall go do something more constructive. Like hide in my bed and hope it all goes away.

return from hiatus

2008-08-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry Sorry !!
i know i haven't posted in so long but so much has happened that i've only just really had the time to breathe so be prepared for a really long post on the last 2 months because you're all my friends and i'm gonna assume you're interested :) yay for friends !

June - 3 days after sufi's birthday i was at my cousin's wedding in india. She's now happily married, she's only 4 years older than me so a little bit freaky. So as soon as i finished my exams at the end of may i was on a plane heading for India. I got to spend quality time with my mom's side of the family before the wedding.
When I got back i was spending nearly every weekday at UWA even tho i'm supposed to be on holidays. This might be a good time to explain Project Kids.

ProjectKIDS (acronym for Kids Intellectual Development and something) it's a joint project between Murdoch University and the University of Western Australia. During the 2 weeks of school holidays in July, seven and nine year olds are invited from the nearby schools to the Project KIDS holiday program for 2 consecutive days where they play computer games and do puzzles. What's actually happening is that the puzzles and computer games are psychological tests ;) The parents are made aware of this of course! it's all friendly and non-threatening. I could go on and on about pkids cos there is alot to say and explain but i'll leave it at that for now.

So all throughout this year, me and other students were learning how to administer these tests properly to the kids without traumatising them! And in June everything was just crashing through practicing the tests on each other and organising for project kids in July. So that's what happened to the rest of my June.

July - phew. if you're still reading you deserve a medal !! Project KIDS. the kids only come for 2 days but us staff are on every weekday for 2 weeks. Just a tip: adorable, messy, hyper seven and nine year olds are exhausting. So that was the first 2 weeks of July.
The 3rd week of July after project kids i went to melbourne with my cousin! It was so much fun but not entirely relaxing cos we packed so much into 6 days but it was so totally worth it. I've uploaded pictures on facebook from the melbourne trip.
The last week of July was spent with my cousin(Georgina) and some of our closest friends because she was going back to Singapore after finishing her 4 years of uni here in Perth. So amidst alot of tears and hugs we said bye bye to her on Friday the 1st of august.

So that brings us to August right? Well 2nd semester of uni starts tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it! The last 2 months have been great but busy so i'm only just catching my breath and taking a big one at that before I jump into 2nd semester.

Hope the rest of you have had an equally great but less hectic last 2 months i'll slowly start reading your blogs to catch up with where the rest of you are. Yay for technology!

Have a great week guys! xx

optimism makes the world go round

2008-05-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired but i figured i had to do the customary first post when i change my blogskin.
I've actually been itching to change it to this one for awhile but hadn't because i've been busy...not that i'm not supposed to be busy now.
I should be, i have psych tests i have to practice for class tomorrow and i have this huge ass asignment to prepare for & have ready for a friday group meeting soon-ish since thursday's already looking kinda crazy.

it's not too bad i know, but my dry eyes aren't helping.
btw i love daily disposable contact lenses. they're perfect for lazy unhygenic people like me !
that's it for now i guess. i might attempt some work despite it being past midnight. Yay optimism makes the world go round!

recap apr 08

2008-04-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

I've been itching to do an update since Easter but obviously havnt gotten round to it and lots has happened since then so i might as well get started : )

My easter wkend was fantastic, didn't worry about anything the whole time just focused on the meaning for Easter. Went back and forth for my church's easter production cos i was helping out and went over to see a sister-church's easter play which was so well done. Georgi was staying with us that wkend it was nice having my cousin around to talk to at the end of the day and talk about absolutely useless stuff. Good Friday lunch (which are supposed to not taste good) was great and very yum. my aunt cooked the majority of the food, easter lunch was also great. Yay for food !

Since then i've been to singapore for less than a week for my cousin's engagement, I'm so happy and excited for her. She was so nervous. We're all praying that it'll be a beautiful, happy marriage.

(ps: that's my bro behind the window)

The wedding is in India on my mom's birthday the 9th of Jun. I've just recently found out my exam timetable so i now know there are no clashes and i can go which is great !

I'm currently at home alone while my mom and 2 brothers are in singapore. My brother has finally finished his national service and will be back in perth with the rest of the family for good at the end of april. in the mean time i'm kinda lonely and the house is way too big and quiet for just me hence why the tv's on till late at night. I'm surprised that it's my youngest brother i miss the most. it's him that i'm most unused to not having around.

Right now things are getting a little hectic with uni work and i'm starting to get a bit nervous about managing it all.

On happier thoughts next monday i'm going to the foo fighters concert & i've been listening to their stuff and falling in love all over again with their music. Can't wait to see them live, shame about the crappy seats though. Also there are plans to go to Rottnest Island for a day on the wkend of the Anzac Day holiday with a couple of close girlfriends here. Should be heaps of fun. Fingers crossed the weather's good and that we get to go snorkelling.

that's it for now! i hope to keep updating regularly... i'll try to anyway:)

chapters 1 and 2, AND pages 404-410.dangit.

2008-02-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

I can be such an idiot sometimes.
I had readings to do for a class today and of course I started on them on Saturday but managed to make a fair dent in it and I thought I could finish it up on Sunday and work on the discussion questions.
Started looking at the discussion questions and reading list late last night and then I realised that I missed the part where it said "chapters 1 and 2, and pages 404-410" Looking back at it now I don't know how I missed the chapter 1 and 2 part and not the pages 404-410 !

So stayed up last night as long as I could reading as much as I could to make sure I was all set for the discussions the next day. Nervous much ?! Fortunately it all went well but seriously that's a scare I don't ever want again not when class is in 10 hours and I need to sleep at some point in between !

first day back

2008-02-18T06:35:00.000-08:00

the number of people who have said i'm insane (or implied it) because i was looking forward to going back to studying after working for 6 months is astonishing. I'm not that weird am I ? It's not that I didn't enjoy working it's just that working reaffirmed that I needed more years of studying to do what i really want to do.

First day back went pretty smoothly. I've already met people I know i'll like and get along with at least. I don't normally make like lasting, best-friends-forever type of friendships with ppl at uni. Don't know why. Maybe we've all got our own things going on in our lives and the whole friendship at uni thing is really just to get by. who knows ? maybe it's just me.

I'm pleased with myself I've rearranged my room - more like my desk. So now i'm all ready for homework and assignments (yuk) Before today i couldn't do anything in a civilised manner like sitting at my table instead i was sitting in corners of my room on the floor writing because my table was so cluttered ! Yay for organised-ness :)

22

2008-02-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

Turned 22 over the weekend.
22 sounds so old and i'm actually starting to feel it a little too. In a good way i guess

I got my friends to come down to the foreshore and we just hung out and had finger food. It went well & i was really happy with how the day turned out. The weather was warm and because we were near the river from time to time there was a breeze which was much needed.

My favourite present was from mom, i had seen a camera on sale and asked (and got) it. I took quite a few photos over the day and they came out well. Now i've got good memories stored on film (and on facebook).

I'm going through orientation week right now because i've changed unis to get into a different 4th year course. So far so good I think I might actually like Murdoch better than UWA, we'll see.

i'm sorry

2008-02-06T05:02:00.000-08:00

i regret trying, i feel sick that all it was was just awkward.
i don't like that i have to write it out and that i cant keep it in. can't keep it in a journal.

i hate that i didn't take that plane for you.
i hate that i didn't go there in my head and in my heart for you because i was too afraid
i'm ashamed that i couldn't be better, that i couldn't make it better. that i didn't make you laugh.

i hate that i want to cry now because all it feels like is that it's too long and too far gone.
i can't walk this with you, i can't even be there for you and i feel like i really messed up
i wish i'd done more because i do love you and when it came to it i couldn't do for you what you did for me
what you do for everyone else every day

let me try again
and if i can be anything at all for you from across the seas
i will because i know i'm stronger now and i can do this
and i'm not the kind to not get up after i fall
i'm still here, i screwed up but i'll try again
not for myself but for you
because i want you to get you across

without all the braveness that i know you posses and you have called upon
not with me please not when i let you in
all i want is to be let in so you can let out

post - Myelup

2008-01-27T22:16:00.000-08:00

So I just got back from a retreat for the youth and young adult leaders that we had over the Australia Day long weekend.
It wasnt for very long just overnight. But where we were was beautiful. We stayed in Myelup at the Indian Ocean retreat, the chalet that us girls were in had a beautiful view of the ocean outside us. We didn't do too much but I think my 2 favourite moments from the retreat was the praise & worship with all of us (about 40) cramped into one living room and 2 guitars. Very accoustic, very real. My other favourite moment was early this morning at the beach, just me on my own with my bible in a quiet spot on the beach.

Then a 3 hour drive back - cause i missed the first freeway exit but I found another one(actually Sarah did). All in all a great getaway.

Our young adults now have a blog with daily devotionals up for us. The young adults group is called Revolution but right now our big focus is on Love. Not our own but the one our Creator has for us so hence the blog entries reflect that.
It's rLOVEution, it's a Revolution.
The blog links is up in my links section.
Really good stuff!

mothers and hair rollers

2008-01-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

It's nearly 3 am and I'm still awake.
I just finished typing up a personal statement to attatch to a postgrad study application at a different uni. Will wait to see how that goes. The personal statement ended up feeling a little too personal hope whoever reads it is moved to take me in or at least is amused!

Planet Shakers start tmw night so basically from then till friday i'll drop off from the face off technological-earth cos if past experience taught me anything it's that i'm going to be really tired. I'm volunteering this year at the conf which means i get this cool bright blue tshirt. If i have the energy i might put up a pict of it or something.

I'm not sure how I'm going to fall asleep soon even though i'm tired. I have rollers in my damp hair so sleeping on my head will be hard. I look like one of those old aunties who walk around in fluffy slippers and and a bathrobe. Nevermind, it looks a heck of alot better when i take them out.

I'm a girly girl in that sense i suppose. After my mom helped me wrestle my mane into the rollers the first time she said she wasn't this vain when she was my age and that she was a tomboy. ( I made the mistake of asking her if she did stuff like this) Then i kinda sulked and mumbled about being a pretty tomboy till she laughed at me (which made me feel worse and better)
See what sleep depravity does to you ! I'm mumbling on about my mother and hair rollers.

Ok good night :) Have to be up early tmw x P

new day

2008-01-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

ok so i'm not still in singapore I'm back in perth.
right now it's monday morning.
really really early monday morning.
so i'm going to go sleep now I have lots to do today.
Sleepy sleep yay !

back home

2007-12-06T22:09:00.000-08:00

I'm in Singapore at the moment and it's great being around my brother again.
Been feeling a bit secluded really because i haven't got a hp (actually i just need a singpore sim card. i don't know what happened to the last one) and i feel kinda stuck. i don't know what peoples plans are ...
but nonetheless it feels great to be back :)

counting down the days

2007-11-27T05:55:00.000-08:00

I'm only really blogging to say that i haven't been on the internet in ages i feel like such a recluse. trying to wrap things up here before i go to singapore but it really feels like everything is happening at once. but really i can't wait to get on that plane it feels like ages. and i want to see my brother, i owe him a punch. and i want to see all of my other family members too

this year everyone will be in singapore for christmas. it'll be one big happy family christmas! :D
makes up for the fact that i havent got a christmas tree at home and can't really get in the mood.

tagged !!

2007-11-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.

2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself (on your blog, we all want to know them).

3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.

4. Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random / weird facts about me:

1. i have 9 scars on me (not including the ones from injections and i have those) most of them i got when i was in kindergarten & primary school !

2. i used to be fluent in both english and tamil when i was around 3/4 years old.

3. i have the biggest birthmark in my family. it starts from halfway up my stomach and goes all the way up and halfway round my neck ! i used to hate it but i don't anymore. it's better than a tattoo ;)

4. i have 23 immediate first cousins - not including their spouses or children

5. i talk in my sleep. but most of you are unfortunate enough to know that already ;) what you may not know is that it only started when i was around 12 years old.

6. in our house, i'm the only one who doesn't snore !

7. when i was a little girl i used to catch cockroaches with my bare hands.

Tagged people: i havnt actually got anyone to tag! oh well :)

Bernard Blessing pt.1

2007-10-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

ok so Bernard Blessing, who is from Ghana, has been at my church since saturday night. This guy is amazing! Last night he shared his life story and testimony. He had a horrible childhood and difficult upbringing i don't even want to get into it, but the way God has turned his life around and made good all the bad, reminded me how much He can use any of us.
So last night, he prayed for different kinds of healing and then asked people to come up and share. A 6 year old non-verbal autistic boy had come up with his mother, the little boy who couldn't speak before was now able to repeat back his own name and say Jesus. I was tearing up as i watched the smiling boy and his crying mother. Another girl in her teens, also couldn't speak, Bernard prayed for her and she started to speak too. Older people who previously couldn't walk without assistance were walking up and down the stage unassisted. Oh, how big a God it is that we have.

Tonight was another meeting this time his message was more specific - for the Christians. I missed part of what he was saying at the end after the message because i'd gone to the back to help with new christians. But i know that it's going to just keep building and compounding tomorrow night and then on Wednesday night. Can't wait! But for now i'm going to head off to bed with big dreams for the future !

www.perthclc.org.au
http://www.perthclc.org.au/events?id=27

give without looking for a return

2007-10-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

i'm quite happily in my pyjamas because it was raining and cold earlier. i really should go to sleep, i only went to sleep around 3.30 am yesterday after picking my cousin up from the airport and i've had a full day today. But when you get the itch to blog (for once...) you kinda should go with it. at least in my case or else i don't update for weeks.

the fundraising ball went well ! we raised quite alot of amount for the charity which was great because it's a great charity that needs it. And i'm not saying that just because i work there. none of that money is going to get filtered down to me. it's going to be used to assist families that need it.

socially, the night went allright. my table had mostly 'grown ups' which made it a bit hard at times but i loved the food and that *always* keeps me happy! and of course i had my camera on the table and took no pictures ! it was a good night eventhough i left early-ish though because the 2 other people i spoke the most to at my table had left and i was getting tired (and there was going no more food...kidding !).

It's late now - and perth has started their daylight savings again so it's now an hour ahead of what it normally is. which means instead of it being 1.30am now it's 2.30am. Not good. should really go to bed.

Tomorrow is another big day. We have this prophetic guy at church - Bernard Blessing. He's on during the morning services and the night one. Should be really good. Shall update about it if it is !

bohemian like you

2007-10-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

ok so in an ideal world i might be asleep right now but as it is i can't go to bed at least for around another half hour. i might as well put up a post since now is as good a time as any !

was packing up till late last night, i've moved back home from Como where i was staying with my cousin, Georgi. My other cousin, Rajni, returns from Port Hedland tonight in around 45 mins. So today i made NINE trips from the the apartment on the second floor across to the carpark. I cannot believe how much rubbish i packed and brought. I was supposed to move for 2 1/2 mnths not 2 years but i packed like it. 4 plastic bags full of shoes !! the scary part is i think i wore half the pairs i brought.

Besides my great exodus i did spend the rest of my day at work. The charity organisation that i work for 4 days a week, Friends of Autism, has their first fundraising ball tmw night so the whole day today was spent cutting up table numbers and laminating them, cutting stuff, fiddling with snow globes (we have around a 100 snowglobes) and tmw afternoon i'll be at the burswood grand ballroom to help with setup. I'm kinda tired. Been spending the whole week doing brain-dead type of things for work like printing out receipts, i.o.u.s, cutting them to size at least fifty times. It's great cos i don't have to think but then i get really lethargic and that's really not a good thing.
But i really shouldn't complain because that stuff needed to be done one way or the other and i'm happy to do my part for a worthy cause ( and still get paid !)
In all honesty, i wasn't really looking forward to tomorrow night, lately i'd rather be a homebody, but i think it's gonna be fun tmw night, the stuff that's planned for tomorrow look exciting (there's a mouse race!). So i shall get dressed in my lovely blue dress, get out there and have fun !

i really really want to clean the house. Is that strange ? The house is really messy, with previously just mom and 2 boys (my 12 yr old cousin, Kenryck, is staying with us for a bit - long story :) who need at least 2 reminders to clean up it's not hard to imagine and i really really want to clean out the clutter in my room. The only people i know who've been doing this lately are pregnant women who are 'nesting' which is slightly worrying.

On a completely random note; on which i shall end- my brother's coming at the end of the month !! I pretend to not care but secretly i do. he's more fun to punch than my other skinnier brother.

PS: haloscan's being a bit crappy. sorry bout that. If it's not showing up hit refresh. If that doesn't work hit you're head really hard against the keyboard that will definitely work ;)

2007-10-25T00:46:00.000-07:00

i know i've been silent for awhile now but things have been busy and i've been trying to get out of lethargy.

watch this space :)

Snow Patrol in 2 days

2007-09-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Snow Patrol is in 2 days.I'm so supremely excited !!
oh and i graduated on tues night. it was lots of fun and the photos are on Georgi's facebook (i'm being lazy).

YAY snow patrol !!!

RECAP

2007-09-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

yay i've got the ikea catalogue ! well my cousin 'stole' it for me though they are technically free. however this one was a little unexciting.

oh wellI realise it's been awhile since i've posted and so much has happened since then! It's been about 3 weeks since i've moved into Como with my cousin and almost 3 weeks of working at my 'new' job. I now have a total of 4 sets of keys hanging off my keychain.And by set i mean multiple keys in one set, i think that now if i was ever mugged on the street i'd wield my keys instead of a handbag at the attacker's head. Nowadays it feels like i've been doing more in a day than i normally do which is nice and i love my jobs (and not only because i get paid).

I'm working most of the week at a charity organisation called Friends of Autism which is just starting up with their own premise when previously they were running from someone's house. They're a legitimate charity with government funding and basically help out families with children who have autism and mainly use ABA therapy and since just being there i've learned so much from just working with the resources which mostly involves alot of cutting, laminating, velcro-ing and basically callused fingers and i'm now an expert with a guillatine.All this stuff i started learning about at uni briefly but not to this extent. Experience truly is gold.

I work a day a week for a clinical psychologist who i have come to have alot of respect for of late. I want her job one day. Well not replace her but do what she does.But it's going to take more years at uni to do that and i think after these 6 months or so of working i'll be re-energised to get back into uni with a better idea of where i'm heading and what i would like.

This'll prob speak volumes but i'm getting to work early and leaving later than my scheduled times.

Living on my own with my cousin these last 3 weeks has also been quite interesting and has involved a weekly ritual of renting videos from the nearby local video store. And i'm happy to report that we've agreed most times on the movies and have found some really videos in the process too.It worked out that i started my new job the first day after i moved in. I think i'm now used to the fact that I have to factor in extra travel time to all the places that i normally go to and working my timings around peak hour traffic since i'm near the city now. I'm significantly better in the mornings, actually being able to give myself enough time in the mornings for quiet time before i rush off to work and start my day which is great.

Still seeing my family-my mom and brother, quite regularly though it's still my brother i miss the most at times because while mom and i talk fairly often over the phone, my brother isn't one for long conversations over the phone, neither of them are. So i miss just hanging out with him, watching tv or just generally making his life a nightmare and being the pestering oldest sister. And i miss out when shash calls home from singapore cos he doesn't call como where i am at the moment so mom's stuck relaying messages between us. at least there's msn.

things have been nice and busy at church too. We just had Adrenalin the week before at the Challenge Stadium where Switchfoot played (and were awesome live !!) and i took a couple days off work to help out with exo week before Adrenalin at the schools which went well. I've never seen so many sausages dissapear in such a short amount of time... Other than that all is good. As superficial as it sounds my biggest concern right now is getting a nice dress for my graduation ceremony that's in 2 weeks time ! wooo :D

2007-08-08T00:14:00.000-07:00

The day's been so gloomy, there hasn't been much sunshine and unfortunately it's starting to affect my mood a little.Had a haircut today which was long overdue and it was just a trim so nothing drastic, but it does feel alot lighter. Yay !

Yesterday i went into willeton senior high school to help with the tuesdays lunch time prayer meeting and it was just so refreshing. there wasn't a huge group or anything but maybe it's the whole stepping out of my comfort zone and still feeling safe.

Its just under a week till i move to Como to stay on my own with Divs for 10 weeks while Rajni's in Port Hedland. I really, really should have started packing something but i haven't (and i reaallyy hope she doesn't see this or else i'm in big trouble) I'm excited about living with her for the next 2 months and a half but i am nervous about being homesick. I'm very attatched to my family : having a brother to tease and be with, who i am very very attatched to though he might appreciate the breathing space, and a mother who makes me milo when she hears me get up in morning (or afternoon) . I always get homesick quite easily though it's never to the extent that i go running back home in the middle of a camp or holiday, i'm too proud for that.I'm guessing it'll be fine once i actually get there, it's just anxiety.

And I start my second job next week which will be exciting and that will take up practically all of my weekdays. Unfortunately i don't know exactly what i'll be doing. I know that for the time being, i'll be tagging along with a behavioural therapist as she visits families with autistic children and i have a couple of months to learn what she's been doing for years. Then i do what she does when she goes to the hospital to 'pop' the baby she's currently carrying. Anxious much ? Nah... ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness

But i am extremely looking forward to the next couple of months. I'll be living with one of the people i'm closest too, i'll be working in a job that i care alot about, i'll be doing my own laundry (long overdue as well), and i'm just generally quite excited with life because it feels like i'm growing right now; spiritually, emotionally and unlike other times this isn't like being in a pressure-cooker so i'm enjoying it :) having said all that i really, really should start packing. I'm bringing my fairy tales book with me to Como ! <3

slightly rabid rantings of a fangirl

2007-07-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

OK so i have finally seen Transformers after the entire world has. And i LoveD it !! I saw that massive truck go by the freeway the first time on the screen and i went "OPTIMUS PRIME !". very quietly of course. And they were funny/adorable too ! And the machinery and cars ....i'm not much of a rev head but seriously when i was walking to my car i thought what a hot Transformer my car would be. though it would be a red autobot and yes it would have to be a She, my car's called Ruby you know. (After the colour of the paint, not my mom) And my Ruby-autobot-transformer will make all the other boy transformers go....nevermind. I need to rename my car.
Although the girl got a bit annoying, you know the one with dark hair whose clothes never fit ? it was definitely a movie primarly aimed at boys (with testosterone). But the other one, the smart blonde, she was allright. However despite that glitch, i liked it. and will get it out on dvd and might try to get people to watch it at the next girl's-night-in. hehehe
and of course i just had to go get a regular popcorn and sprite at the start which meant i returned just in time to know i missed the Stardust trailer. and of course thanks to said Sprite, by the end of the movie my bladder was near exploding but i couldn't go yet cos i wanted to wait for the movie to finish.
Anyway, good movie, i liked it lots : )

It looks like i'll be temporarily relocating to my cousin's for 10 weeks and i'm finally in the process of getting that second job so things are getting a bit exciting for me now which is always good : )
They showed the season 2 final for Lost today. The 2 hour special. Is it too much to hope for a clear cut conclusion to a series nowadays ?
on another chirpy note; it isn't storming quite so much now which is good. I always seem to be on the road when they're just starting and that's never a settling experience. interesting but unsettling. Lucky i have my trusty red autobot with me : ) wheee !

sunday night

2007-07-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

woke up late-ish and ended up almost late to church.

came home had lunch and read the papers but mostly the comics and entertainment section.

went out for tea with my godmother where she talked i listened and it was good.

came home cooked chicken for dinner afterwhich my dearest youngest brother had the audacity to say was bland.

currently wasting time on the net.

been sick-ish over the wkend so my mom wanted me to be house-bound, i bribed her with me talking vitamins which resulted in a get-out-of-jail free card straight away.

screeched at oldest brother because he only called for 5 seconds and i hadn't talked to him in awhile and i miss him.

start work tomorrow so i really should go to sleep soon.

but i'm not tired.

i will be tomorrow morning i suppose.

ps: thanks for wishes for my mom's back, it's better. i owe people emails. they're coming...

Growl

2007-06-27T22:14:00.001-07:00

i am SUCH a grouch !

my mom's injured her back somehow and it was really bad last night; she's better now but she's recovering and taking medicine.

but i'm being such a grouch cos suddenly i feel overwhelmed like i'm rushing around doing the stuff mom normally does. And the person who gets stuck with the horrible grouch is my brother. His solution: he doesn't talk to me untill he knows i've calmed down a little.

We've been dog sitting this week and Linus is a lovely dog (though i will never in a million years name my dog Linus) he's a labradoodle and very well behaved but he's one of those dogs who need constant attention and love. Which is the problem. i've been spending most of the week just gone sitting with him in the tv room; reading or going on the internet, playing catch with him. i felt a little guilty because i haven't spent as much time with him today and i'm normally the one who spends the most time with him.

so far i've hung out clothes (that my mother somehow put for wash with her bad back), washed an ENTIRE sink-full of plates and such, made rice which really isn't that hard. But i really should be deciding if i do want to do a course this semester and sending the applications which are due in a week. Procrastinate much ?!

I've got a casual job with a psychologist which i'm really looking forward to starting and there's another paid job possibility with a charity organisation but whether i'll be able to commit to that will depend on whether i go ahead with the application for the college course thingy but i'll talk about that later when things are written in stone. i.e. i've sent my application and it's been accepted...

Woo hoo linus just did a number 2 in the garden. Guess who's on clean up. That's it for now then i suppose.

Anna Pavlova

2007-06-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

My exams finished on tuesday so it's been 4 days since then and in that time i have managed to get my body bruised, buy a new book, have an unexpected "d & m" in my car and witness my back fence crashing down.
i shall go in order of said exciting events just because i take personal joy in chronicling my otherwise unexciting life.

Tuesday: well after my exam, the plan was to veg out in great euphoric joy because i had finished my exams. no such luck i had been sufficiently depressed after picking up an assignment after my exams. so instead i ended up spending the rest of the night contemplating the reason of my existence. ( i have since recovered. somewhat.)

Wednesday: the long awaited massage. Couple of my friends had got me a voucher to a beauty salon for my birthday and i had decided to save it till post-exams to relieve whatever the tension the stress of exams would, and did, cause. It hurt alot.I was imagining a nice relaxing massage to soothe my tense muscles but i made the mistake of telling the woman that i had a really tense back because of exams so she said not to worry she'd take care of it. And take care of it she did. I was too busy trying to keep my composure that i didn't say a thing about how it hurt. and when she asked me how it felt, i said great because at some point during that massage i had convinced myself that this was wonderful and completely neccessary. No pain, no gain; had been running through my head. Now i think i'd agree with anyone who calls me retarded.

Thursday: was so much better .met up with a bunch of girlfriends and my cousin to have a late breakfast in Como at this really nice place that doubled up as a cafe and as a bookshop. I wish i could remember what it was called. Breakfast was yum even though i didn't finish my muesli with fresh fruits and youghurt ( i never finish muesli as georgie pointed out - yet i always get muesli. it must be my conscience reminding me about my daily fiber intake) The bookshop had a strange but good collection of books as well as a substantial collection of children's books. Ariel was particularly excited by the children's books. And recited the entire story of some caterpillar book she read when she was younger. Most of us succumbed to the temptation and got a book. I got Jostein Gaarder's The Orange GIrl - under Georgie's recommendation.

Friday: was probably the start of the official freak winter weather.On the way back from youth and young adults on friday night i dropped Clairiss home and we ended up sitting in the car and just talking. We had a whole 'deep and meaningful convo' just about families, grandparents, the heritage we get passed down, the influence of praying grandmothers and interestingly the pressure to live up to expectations.
I'm three years older than Clairiss and i felt it when i said to Clairiss that while the pressure will always be there it will only hamper. I jokingly said to her that in a few decades her great grand children will be talking about her like she was talking about her great grandmother. So nevermind the pressure she felt, she had a greater responsibility to be who she was meant to be and not a reproduction of those that came before her. All this of course came from stuff i've learnt along the way, me and my life, but i didn't go into it. and miraculously the girl still got it and we agreed that we were very different from our respective predecessors and that that was the fun part:)

Saturday: relatively uncluttered i suppose. Besides that the weather really went freakish. In 24 hours we apparently had enough rainfall to bring our water levels up to half of what is normally expected for this time of year. Basically we had ALOT of rain considering we've been in a drought. And it was really windy too. To prove my point; our back fence that is adjoining to our neighbours behind us got blown down. The bright side ? We got to meet our new neighbours !i'm a little fidgety about the slightly over the top winter weather because Sydney just had flooding in a few areas just a few weeks ago. I had friends there who said that they're place was fortunately untouched but alot of the areas surrounding them had been affected.Oh well, nice wintery weather to look forward to i guess. The forecast is for another bout of rain this whole week.

I guess it's a good thing then that i've got my Gaarder book and Neil Gaiman's Stardust (loaned from Georgie) to occupy me this week.
Reading for fun rather than forced learning; what a concept. It's been too long.

Yay ! :)

cold toes

2007-06-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

well i've just finished 2 exams and i've got one more to go on tues and that's it so i'm taking time off tonight just to breathe.
gosh i don't remember being this tense for any of my other exams. my shoulder muscles are like rock hard. boo.almost there.
and for the rest of you lovely ladies who are also going through exams ( and getting just as stressed if not worse) hang in there.
it makes the break after that much sweeter.lotsa love to preeth and maria <3

Sufi's birthday

2007-06-06T02:14:00.000-07:00

Happy 21st Birthday Sufi !!

it's sufi's birthday today and she's been one of my good friends for years now and i trust her so much :) i met her in sec 1 at KCPSS and we've been friends since. We had our occasional dramas but hey we're girls and we were in secondary school, dramas are normal :)
but i love this girl so much she's been such a great friend and she always looks out for me whenever i'm around and has always been so forgiving of the fact that i'm such a forgetful friend sometimes

thanks for these last 9 years of friendship and for the next hundreds and hundred of years more ! :D
hope your day was fantastic surrounded by people you love and who love you

return to normality

2007-06-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

it's been awhile since i've updated. i've just been so super stressed with all the assignments that have been due. the number of allnighters i've been trying to pull have really been quite unhealthy. but at least all that's done. It's just exams now. pre-exam study break is next week. but i have high hopes for being more organised this time around. one can always hope. or at least that's what the eternal optimist in me says.

my brother's coming down again for a little bit specially for my mom's birthday. 2nd visit he's made here since he's gone into national service. but it will be the weekend just before my exams so i'm gonna be rather tense. oh well.

i've been so bad with birthdays these past couple weeks. i've missed three people's birthday just because i've been so absorbed in uni stuff. i really should keep a better note of birthdays on my calender. i don't really need updates via phone or emails. if it's on a calendar i'll notice it usually. but then i never write down preethi's birthday cos i know it by heart. then i go and forget on the day itself. oh well. we've been friends ages now and this sorta thing isn't the weirdest that either of us have come up with for each other's birthdays. i mean only a lovely person thinks contraband chewing gum (in singapore) consists of a birthday present and i'm the only person who would send a powerpoint instead of a birthday card because i was feeling creative (and it would get there sooner) and the poor girl had to re-edit everything so she could read it properly. oh well. love you preeth.

matches ! where are the matches?

2007-05-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

i am currently functioning on an hour's worth of sleep and it's really not that noticeable. had a psych lab report due this morning at 9am. mom came into my room last night and asked me how i was going with the assignment. me said " oh i'm going good , should be finished in awhile" so the next morning she comes to my room to wake me up ( i asked her to. i couldn't risk oversleeping and missing the bus- i'm really good at oversleeping) and finds me still at my computer.mom: did you sleep at all last night?me: uh ... yeamom: did you sleep last night ?me: oh ! no i didn't. can you close the door? it's cold.long story short no sleep except for an hour in the afternoon. i'm fine but my stupid lightbulb isnt. it blew out. always happen when i leave it on the whole night. so now i'm sitting in my room with candles and lantern aglow quite pretty really. i'm going to go to bed early tonight. i have a funny feeling that just coz i'm not exhausted right now, there's a very strong chance i'm going to be a zombie tomorrow. and that is not good. not good at all.I have a psych lit review due on monday morning and i'm going to be doing it all this weekend. how fun. so i can't afford to be a zombie tomorrow.
i love how everything's nice and glowing in my room atm :)

bay window - my little retreat

where i spend 20 of my 24 hours a day

luigi / zorro

2007-04-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

tuesday was long.
woke up early-ish but stilll ended up running late to get to uni for my class even though i drove in. after class, caught a bus into the city to get cassie a birthday present. it started raining on the way back on the bus. never been more grateful to have driven as i was that day though i still got rained on a few times.

came home to a house full of 14 year old boys. their mothers and mine were in the dining room talking and eating. while the boys invaded the tv room, i hid in my bed room. it was still raining outside. nice.

later that evening i met up with friends from church and we went to play dark zone (laser gun/shooting game thing) it would've been a lil more fun if we weren't against 2 other groups who were practically professionals coz they came in regularly. i mean who does that? it's dark zone last i heard it was a fun kiddy thing to do for birthday parties. then again here we were a bunch of 19-23 year olds playing against little kids and adults and getting trashed. however, it was fun, slightly frustrating but still fun.

then we decided to go over to my place (it was the nearest) and watch a movie. steve and i were incharge of getting one from the videostore. it was late and dark and i suppose it wouldn't have been smart for me to drive around deserted suburbs solo. so big tough steve came with me while half of the others got themselves lost on the way to my house.

steve ended up picking white noise. we were so pressed for time. we had 5 minutes till the shop closed and i was on my mobile trying to give directions. and blockbuster was out of all the good movies. typical.

so we eventually got to my place. steve decided he wanted to race me back to my place. i got there first. mua haha. he blamed my directions.

we didn't watch white noise in the end. courtney and eudora thought it looked too scary. so we just hung around and talked and talked. mostly the boys were recommending guys us girls could get married to. i'm getting just a little too tired of this now.

and then that was it. ended the day feeling a lil tired (seriously dark zone should count as a work out) and a little 'meh' bout it all. finished rakesh's letter finally.it ended up being two pages - must remember to post it. it's anzac day tmw hope it's a little more... about things other than potential suitors. and as sad as it sounds i hope i get alot of uni work done too.

Haloscan upload

2007-04-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

Just uploaded Haloscan onto my blog (i'm not supposed to be up or doing this btw).
So if you guys are feeling charitable leave me a comment :)

virginia tech massacre

2007-04-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

i still get a little uneasy when i read/hear news on the virgina tech massacre. i feel like i'm so isolated and much further than continents away that i can't even begin to fathom the emotions one would go through.What really knocks me off my feet though is how anyone could be capable of so many deaths and why he would feel it was justifiable.

rip and may the Peace that passes all understanding be with you

2007-04-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

today's post might be a tad abstract...

sunday morning - woke up late. was supposed to be at church at 7.45 am to help out. got there at umm, 8.10am. i promise, i promise to be on time next week ! Made a decision mid-way through the morning, had been a long time coming. all's good now. looks like things are going to go to better than normal now :)

my mom is such a host. Not in a bad way but she likes to have people over at our place and have dinner; our house is always open to cousins and family alike. Surprisingly this doesn't extend to friends and randoms. how unfortunate. So it was sunday the LAST day of my pathetically short 1 week holiday and i thought i'd have a quiet evening at home, maybe start on some work that i really should've started a week ago. Instead i had 6 cousins over to briefly celebrate my aunts birthday before she and her husband had to go off for a wedding reception, so her two young children are sleeping over till tomorrow morning. Well later this morning anyway. I don't mind much really. It's amusing most of the times and today wasn't an exception.

The evening was rather productive actually. my 4 older cousins and me decided to go look at a very famous indian matchmaking site (that shall remain anonymous ) that our lovely parents repeatedly threaten to put our pictures on. WE don't appreciate the sentiment. So we decided to sneak a peek to make sure that our mostly computer-illiterate parents didn't make good on the repeated promises. They hadn't but we spent a very amused (and surprisingly long) few hours just looking at the site. Further incriminating hints will not be given, but safe to say that we were right about our other suspicions ...

i really should go to bed. i want to wake up early tomorrow morning. Like 6am. Uhh, ya or maybe a little after...

2007-03-29T00:53:00.000-07:00

well my relatives arrived this morning at about 7.30am and so with great effort i decided to not go back to sleep even though i was so tempted to but i got so much done in the morning. maybe this should be a more regular occurence.assignments coming along fine so far. tonight's my cousin's graduation. and i'll be at home with georgie. hopefully getting work done. anyway i'm really looking forward to firebrand tmw afternoon. should try to get there a lil earlier.

and again the youth and young adults are putting this on together. i just hope the weather stays good for it. it should; so far the weather report says it'll be warm ~ yay! 7 people crammed into the house tonight and then 9 on sat night. should be fun :)

2007-03-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

Woke up late again today. annoyed. realised that i forgot to put the bin out for collection and the only collect it once a week. i'll have to let mom know at some point...i'm so not looking forward to it. other than that the whole look-after-the-house-and-keep-an-eye-on-brother while mom's away has been alright so far. Besides forgetting the rubbish collection, oh yeah and laundry. Crap.

But we havnt starved ! And i woke up this morning and straight after breakfast i cleaned up the kitchen and washed up all dishes that i left in the sink the night before. My brother you ask ? Oh this particular brother helps without bribing (sometimes) problem was the dishes that he did wash, i had to wash again. The other brother when he does wash i don't have to wash 'em again (usually). But he's not here, he'll arrive with mom on Saturday night ! woo hoo that's in about 4 days time.

What i'm more concerned about however is the assignment i have to hand in on Monday morning. Things are only going to start getting more hectic when relies come by on thurs for my cousin's graduation. i'm looking forward to them coming and having the house semi-full and then completely full when my mom and brother arrive on Sat night. but i know i'll get very little if not no work done. unless i hole myself up in the lib.
At least this assignment doesn't require heavy duty research for the intro. or so i'm told.

anyway we'll see how it goes.fingers crossed.

cat and nick's engagement party

2007-03-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness. what is going on?? it's the second time today that i've found an ugly black cockroach in my bedroom !! is there some sort of cockroach convention being held somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my bedroom ? Yuk !!

anyway...
went to Cat & Nick's engagement party tonight. it was good, cat was all smiley and nick was 'suavely' decked out in shirt and pants. Cat's engagement ring is gorgeous! just the right size for her with a pretty heart shape on either side of the prongs/claw/thingy that the diamond sat on. i also saw some people i hadn't seen in ages which i hadn't expected and that's always nice. Met Corrie from high school of all people ! i havn't seen her since we left high school (i think) it was nice to just sit and chat for a little bit.

as always when you go to an engagement/wedding it's always; " so when're you getting married?" there were quite a few couples there tonight and of course the guys kept insisting that the other guy and his gf can get married before them.... but no i'm not going to get married anytime soon not having a boyfriend pretty much guarantees that. Still i like where i'm at, i don't feel a particular urgency for a boyfriend nor do i feel a particular need to run away from guys in general (which i guarantee you has happened before!). so all in all a good place to be. i just turned 21, i'm only just beggining to act and feel like it. nevermind what anyone else says, i'm not 17.

i've already broken my self-imposed curfew so i'm just gonna call it a night and go wash my face and head to bed ! yay ! i'm actually tired for once. although i have this really creepy image of cockroaches sneaking around under the covers...

i can see youuu

2007-03-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Today we started work on data for one of my psych unit's lab report.
We're measuring each other's capability of noticing things from our peripheral vision; the corner of our eyes.
We worked in pairs measuring each other's field view at different degrees and i turned out a fair bit better. Neither of us have perfect vision and today i was wearing my glasses. But my point is to gloat !!
however unsubstantiated it might be....
proof finally !! after all these years of insisting that i knew when so-and-so were staring (or glaring for that matter) despite only having "from the corner of my eye" vision.
So you see i am pretty good with these things. beware.... i can seeeee youuuuu !! mua hahaha anyway off to bed soon, i actually am trying to stick to my self-imposed bedtime

silly pieces of cutlery

2007-03-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Grah ! i'm soo annoyed with myself ! Week 3 of uni has only just begun and i'm already behind 3 weeks of work. Fantastic.
For my own good i've decided i really should try to make it a point to go to bed by 12pm each night; that way i stand a better chance of waking up before lunchtime. That way hopefully my daylight hours won't just disappear in a frantic rush of getting to uni on time and back home and barely remembering what i was supposed to have learnt.

I hate doing readings. well i don't mind them i just hate when i have to do them when they're due soon (like within the next 24 hours) the pressure isn't good for me. Of course this wouldn't be a problem if i actually started a little earlier.

On another miserable note; went out to eat twice this last weekend- one was out to dinner for Georgie's birthday with friends. I managed to clumsily drop my fork like a 5 year old only to have it dissapear somewhere under my chair. Later that same evening i managed to crash my knife against the plate,and despite the racket somehow managed to not shatter the plate. Apparently my suggestion that the cutlery was bigger than normal wasn't feasible. Damn.
Then the next day i was out for a lunch at a cafe and, lo and behold, again i managed to drop my cutlery on the floor. This time it was the knife that met the floor. And i proceeded to wrestle with my toasted bread thing. Silly thing was soggy and the knife wouldn't cut. I'm not a barbarian, i promise ! i just seem to be really clumsy.

Maybe next time i'll bring glue with me when i know i'm going out to eat where possible bigger-than-my-hands-can-manage cutlery might lurk.

On a much happier note : it's about 19 days till my brother comes to Perth for a visit. Yay !! now mom and i just have to figure out how we're going to clear out his room of all the junk before he gets here.

21 years old

2007-02-09T08:36:00.000-08:00

Wow. So i'm now officially 21. Apparently i was born just after midnight.
This is supposed to be one of those milestone moments.
How am i feeling ?
Well for starters i feel clean ! I just had a shower. But umm yea you didn't need to know that.
other than that i am feeling slightly overwhelmed i have a long To-Do list and i haven't really done anything much on that list (unless the shower counted...this is embarassing)

I guess by the time you're 21 you find that you've graudally grown up. Seen more of the world been given more responsibilities and liberties with your life. And i do find that that's been the case with me. I have seen more of the world or at least feel like i've been in it long enough to now some things. Though i'm sure in ten years from now i'll be scoffing at how much i thought i knew.
Other things too, people expect as you grow older. Like that you would've matured somewhat ; that you have 'found yourself' by now. But that's an old topic and i think most people understand that you never do stop maturing and that you never really "find yourself" at least i haven't i think.
I haven't changed drastically anyway. In a good way, i'm still the same person i was 10 years ago, and i hope that's a good thing.
And each new year has brought different challenges and experiences and from that i found i discover more about what i'm capable of and remind myself of who i am.

Another thing and this has been bothering me : i'm 21 now and i would have expected that by now i would have mellowed out a little. Anyone who knows me would now that there are times when i'm just this hyperactive super giggly energiser bunny. Much like a 5 year old child.
But i've given up, i did try and it does get very frustrating at times to be treated like a fifteen year old when you know that you have the capabilities of a 20 year old.

I have alot to look forward to this year and i'm actually super excited : ) i'll try hard as i always do to not screw things up and attempt to be more organised. But other than that i'm just gonna be super pleased that i at least got one thing done on that list of mine !

2007. it's january still ?!

2007-01-23T04:04:00.000-08:00

It's been ages since i've posted kinda lost interest for awhile.
ok so it's 2007 now; i keep forgetting ! went to israel over the Christmas holidays. It was nothing short of wonderful. I loved the place itself and the landscape; all those hills and valleys. The places that we saw were fantastic; primarily in Tiberias and Jerusalem. And i couldn't have asked for more perfect travelling companions :)

since then i've been a bridesmaid for Peter and Eudora's wedding. The wedding itself was beautiful, surreal almost. i don't know a more perfect couple then Pete and Dory and even the wedding ceremony reflected that. ( Aside from the fact that the bride and her bridal party got to the church 45 minutes late ;) not my fault i swear !!

And now i'm back in Singapore. I've done quite enough travelling in this past 2 months that i now feel quite sick of travelling. I kinda wish i was back in Perth but then that would mean i would miss out spending my 21st birthday with my relatives here in Singapore and especially my brother who's sorta stuck here in S'pore for National service (army).

So i'm taking a break right now from general procrastination to post somthing up ! i've got heaps to look forward to i guess. I'm doing a pink theme here in singapore for my 21st, i.e. i'm making everybody wear something pink. Yes this includes me and i have already got a pretty pink dress (tho everyone keeps insisting it's peach - i insist it's pink !!). This will probably be the one and only time in a long, looong time that i'm going to have this much pink around me. I'm actually not too fond of the colour myself personally but i thought it'd be fun for once. (i'm a closet girly-girl)
ok enough rambling. Other than that, there's a friend's sister wedding and i've been invited to the lunch. I'm just such a huge fan of weddings, i love going to them.

that's it for now i think. I'll reread this post maybe make it alittle bit more palatable.

done :)

here comes christmas

2006-12-06T06:21:00.000-08:00

a little psychological christmas cheer ;)

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Schizophrenia
Do you hear what I hear ?

Multiple Personality
We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia
I Think I'm Coming Home for Christmas

Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing ( About Me !!!)

Mania
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town ... Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!

Paranoia
Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me…

Depression
Silent anhedonia. Holy anhedonia. All is calm, all is pretty lonely.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...

Passive Agressive
On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

2006-12-05T06:41:00.000-08:00

Amazing how a mistake that only takes 5 seconds to make, can take 5 hours to fix. ok so maybe not quite 5 hours but a hell of a long time. I had accidentally changed my blog template and lost everything ! so i spent the last 1 -2 hours doing everything again from scratch (with breaks / distractions in between)

anyway it's day 2 of daylight savings. so now Perth's time is an hour ahead of Singapore's. It used to be the same previously.
Day 1 was when i figured why moving forward would make sense in the evenings because it gets darker later in the summer.
Day 2 (at 3am this morning) was when i figured out why moving forward an hour made sense becauase it starts to get bright earlier in the mornings in summer.
By early i mean, prior to daylight savings, it started to brighten around 3/4am. it wasn't very bright but it would start to get light outside. And if i were awake i'd start to panic because i can't go to sleep (for the night) if it's bright outside. so i'd hide under the blanket and talk myself into believing it was still night and that i should go to sleep...
anyway if any of that didn't make much sense to you, don't worry. I've completely forgotten how daylight savings helps again anyway.
Just remember: Perth now has daylight savings, we're exactly one hour ahead of Singapore time.

Anyway onto other stuff. about just under a week ago my cousin while she was travelling with her school in cambodia had a (probably big and heavy) bag fall directly onto her head. everyone panicked for quite a bit, my mom was slightly hysterical when she told me the minute she found out. finally plucked the courage to call her mom's mobile today. she's good, safe and healthy and utterly bored :) she just needs time to recover.
My family and her's are going to Israel in 2 weeks time and that should be really good and we're all hoping that she'll be well enough to travel by then.

ok that's enough of an update for now i guess. my flight back to singapore is on Mon morn, a red eye flight. should have better access to the net this time (i hope)

movie -The Prestige

2006-11-29T08:19:00.000-08:00

I saw the movie 'The Prestige' for the second time last night. Fantastic movie : ) should go see it if you havnt. really good.

2006-11-13T21:19:00.001-08:00

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